she lives within me

by fhae

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Full Digital Discography

11

releases

Get all 11 fhae releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of my tethered heart grows tired, 2001 [Single], I waited [Single], she lives within me, liquorice [EP], try to land on your feet next time [EP], flag [Single], sombre thorax, and 3 more. , and , .

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1.	I brush my sister's hair softly so she doesn't cry 05:49 video	lyrics	buy track
time for the night to go said moon so the night went time for the day to dawn said the night so day dawned time for sun to rise said the day so sun rose time for the wind to blow said night so the wind blew time to the clouds spread said the wind so the wind blew to for the rain to fall said the clouds so rain fell down for earth to drink so the earth drank time for seed to sprout spread the soul the wind time for the rain to fall said the cloud so rain fell time for the earth to drink time for the seed to sprout
2.	the footsteps get closer and I cover my eyes 02:33	lyrics	buy track
you were sleeping on the bed I could hear breathe I covered your body and left you wanted more but I had nothing left nothing left you wanted more but I had nothing left nothing left
3.	how can I get back there, please tell me 02:53	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]
4.	my dad carries me to my bed when I fall asleep in the car 05:38	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]
5.	we stay and stay thankful 05:36 video	lyrics	buy track
you sleep on the table you rest as it faithful you see what you want to you try what you can we stay and stay thankful we leave we leave you shout from the bathroom you smoke up the air we stay and stay thankful we leave we leave you see you sleep on the table you rest as it faithful you see what you want to you try what you can you see you try we stay and stay thankful we leave we leave you shout from the bathroom you smoke up the air we stay and stay thankful we leave we leave we leave
6.	go away 04:44	lyrics	buy track
kick your shoes off and make me feel tired I know you don’t wanna see your child You thought you’d be a better man I know this wasn’t anyone’s plan get a drink now you feel desired I know you want to be but your so tired go away now you on my life go away you tell your wife go away go away go away go away you parents taught you what to be brush your hair and comb your teeth make sure your elbows are off the table care for everyone they fought and you thought it wasn’t even bad now you spending up all of your cash smoke that pack you got that you can't afford cause you know we’re on the brink of being poor go away go away go away go away go away tell your girl to go away away the black mould is growing underneath in the bathroom won't you help me get off my knees I called them late last week you wont help me, try to see see when they can help us out hide the checks under the couch hide the burn marks with that pillow I know you are tired but so am I go away go away go away go away go away go away go away go away
7.	I just want to know where we go when we die 03:09	lyrics	buy track
I walked through the gates and I saw your pretty face I asked you were you’ve been and you said you always with us I missed you so much my auntie its been years my dear auntie we’ve been waiting for you remember when you took us to the skate park you said sports weren’t just for boys my dear auntie my dear auntie we’ve missed you so much my dear auntie I remember when you were cooking in the kitchen my dear auntie my dear auntie we’ve missed you so much
8.	I will save all the money in my piggy bank 03:09	lyrics	buy track
don’t you know how much beauty vanity takes you’re racking in the money but what of the change the change that we spoke of the change in your jar don’t know your my beauty my beauty in the whole pernicious shit come and take my love come and take my love don’t know you know how much beauty vanity takes your racking in the money but what of the change the change that we spoke of the change in your jar don’t you know I love you
9.	sometimes my sister sleepwalk but grandad says I sleeptalk 02:38	lyrics	buy track
sleeping tired and scared sleep walking drown out that light have you ever had a bad dream woke up sweaty feeling kinda shitty sleeping just keep sleeping
10.	we aren't allowed to look under the bathroom sink 02:54	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]
11.	when I lie in the backyard I can hear my sisters laughing 03:06	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]
12.	I like to talk to the neighbours through the hole in the fence 04:53	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]
13.	I wish that I could meet you 03:01	lyrics	buy track
you climb that tree you fly wear your hair however you like it muddy ankles bloody knees climb the kitchen doors to get that sugar you paint the doors with markers their yours i wish that i could meet you i with that i could meet you wear the clothes you like and cry if you need to i wish that i could meet you
14.	sometimes I hold my teddy and imagine what it's like to be a mum 04:13		buy track
15.	it's always a long drive home 07:30	lyrics	buy track
[instrumental]

about

fhae’s third full length album 'she lives within me' is a retrospective exploration into the inner child.

It features 15 diverse tracks composed of ambient vocal-weaved soundscapes, angular acoustic folk and minimal electronic styles.

“This album is about the innocent yet dark and lonely childhood I experienced," says Ramsay. "Each track is extremely raw and personal and tells a story. It also features a song based on a poem I wrote as a child and a track recorded when I was a teenager. I think this album doesn’t need too much elaboration.”

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‘I brush my sister's hair softly so she doesn't cry’ is a poem I wrote when I was 7. I found the poem when I was cleaning out my house. It is about how everything in nature relies on each other to survive. This track features heavy drones of guitar and layered vocals.

‘the footsteps get closer and I cover my eyes’ is a slow, stripped back track. Featuring only one layer of guitar and one layer of vocals. This track is about how a child feels when they internalise the guilt of letting a parent down.

‘how can I get back there, please tell me’ is a soundscape, created on GarageBand layered synths and other instruments. This track is thinking on memories, thinking about child-like wonder, trying to remember how the world looked and how to get back the feeling.

‘my dad carries me to bed when I fall asleep in the car’ is an instrumental soundscape created on GarageBand.

‘we stay and stay thankful’ features looped vocals, synth and a simple drum beat. This song is about the relationship between a parent and a child and what happens when the child grows into an adult and has to cut ties and leave.

‘go away’ features a guitar and synth. This track is the dysfunctional dialogue between parents overheard by their children.

‘I just want to know where we go when we die’ is a song I recorded a long time ago on my phone. It is about losing my aunty at a young age and imagining what it would be like to see her again. I play the acoustic guitar and the melodica.

‘I will save all the coins in my pink piggy bank’ - even when I was young I could see so many flaws in my family; money and behaviours. This song is the back and forth between a child asking for change and the parent responding with love bombing.

‘sometimes my sister sleepwalks but grandad says I sleeptalk’ is a drowned out lullaby about feeling half awake as a child.

‘we aren't allowed to look under the bathroom sink’ features a bowed electric guitar and layered vocals. This song is about finding bad things in the house as a kid and realising things aren’t what I thought they were.

‘when I lie in the backyard I can hear my sisters laughing’ is a striped back acoustic guitar solo. It represents my good memories as a child, evidently these are all with my sister.

‘sometimes I hold my teddy and imagine what it's like to be a mum’ - this track is about imagining myself being pregnant and being a mother.

‘it's always a long drive home’ ends the album. Looped vocals and synths. This song is about the excitement to get home after being somewhere for a while.

credits

released October 12, 2023

Ellena Ramsay - everything

Mastered by Andrew Garton

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about

fhae Brisbane, Australia

Ellena Ramsay’s Meanjin based experimental-ambient-folk project combines ethereal haunting vocals with organic instrumentation and raw percussive production.

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fhae recommends:

Solidarity Soundwaves
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Brilliant 37 track compilation featuring Brisbane experimental, ambient and electronic artists raising funds for the innocents of Gaza. I contributed a track called 'sliding'. fhae
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House Keys
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Really cool compilation of Brisbane bands covering Brisbane bands with all profits going to community radio 4ZZZ. I did a cover of The Middle East song 'My Grandma was Pearl Hall'. fhae
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